"CHANGE"

Ok, so I'll admit it. I am a self proclaimed self-help book junkie. Not all of the books are about "Changing your life in 30 days" (although I do have some that may be of the same genre, persay). Anyways, sometimes I find it best when starting out on new ventures, such as many of us recent college graduates know that the best advice can sometimes be the simplest.



I have found this book titled "The Life Guide: 10 Things You Need to Know About Everything That Matters". What is so great about this book is it in cut into different sections such as health, career, success, home, money, relationships. However, the chapter I took the most interest in was simply titled "Change". Each chapter has different subsections but as I said the author, Robert Ashton, keeps things simple by writing a list of ten things within each topic to help you in area of which you are reading about and hopefully wanting to improve upon yourself.. Now I'm not saying this is for everyone but I find that at this cross road section of my life, when it seems there's so many choices, while exciting, however can be overwhelming. I also that many of my peers leave school and are dissapointed to find that the idea they had about their future when they graduated did not magically come together the minute we all stepped foot into "the real world".

I'm exhausted tonight. After a long day of being lazy yesterday I got myself together today and said today's the day I'm going to make small steps in order to get my life together. Posting goals that are very large without spending time to work on your short term goals to get there is in my opinion a waste of time. As trivial as this sounds I had to set time aside today to get all my laundry and clothes in order. Now this may not seem important for my future but, au contraire my friend thank God I did. A few hours later I was being called in to be seen as a model for "Cosmo" Magazine tomorrow and voila! I will have all fresh clothes and will not be stressed out in the morning. While also cleaning I had organized my headshot and resumes so I knew where everything was. If I get the job or not is not a huge concern to me. It was more the idea of being fully prepared for the audition so as to learn from it and walk out saying that I did my best and that's all I can ask of myself.

So remember, babysteps work. Just remember to schedule at least one for each day that will help you for the day after or will help you maybe later on this week, month or year! Think of these small term goals as your base. Just as cheerleaders who are forming a pyramid have to start by stacking bottom to top, they begin by forming a solid foundation by starting on the floor. Once that is formed the others are able to climb using the first layer of cheerleaders to build the pyramid upon, so on and so on. Without the layers of preparation and a confidence from repeating these steps practice after practice the pyramid does not shake and the goal they set was carried out. You can be sure there were many falls during practices but that what I feel our twenties are; a time to build the foundation of the lives we decide to want to develop and we practice at it until our foundation is sturdy. So at this time we experiment and practice. We try and find the best way to start our base and build from there and if our pyramid grows and then tumbles either or bit or a whole crash. We should decide to pick ourselves up and try another strategy. As Einstein said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".


Here are two lists I got from the section of the book titled "Change":

pg. 40 - 41

"Overcoming Obstacles: Your change journey is unlikely to be without obstacles. However hard you try to be organized, life throws things in your way. People say that "every cloud has a silver lining," but when you're in the middle of a crisis, however minor, it's often hard to see the positive side".



10 Ways to Push Over Barriers:

1) Don't give up - Difficult things are never easy to achieve. You have to expect obstacles adn be prepared to find a way around them.



2) Admit Your Mistakes - If the adversity is self-inflicted, then recognize the fact, seek a solution and move on. Do not continually beat yourself up. We all make mistakes.



3) Swim Against the Tide - Don't simply go with the flow. When others are giving up and getting washed away, keep fighting your way upstream. Remember only dead fish swim with the tide!



4) Be prepared - Like as we insure our homes and cars, so, too, can you protect your ambitions. Also try to have a "plan b" just in case.



5) Forgive and Forget - Some people bear grudges for years. Don't bear those scars forever. Forgive, forget and let them heal.



6) Take a detour - Somtimes the barrier is simply insurmountable. Recognize when your path is blocked and look for an alternative route. If the journey is worth making, that detour will exist.



7) Take time - It's said that you can adapt to almost any major change or tragedy in around six months. When your life is bombarded by something totally horrible (and don't we all agree leaving college life can qualify as something horrible:) ) don't make too hasty decisions.



8) Look for the positive - We are the total of our experiences. Even bad experiences carry value, even if it's sim;ly a hard lesson you won't need to relearn.



9) Get It Over Early - There's a lot to be said for making mistakes when you're young. You then at least have more opportunity to recover. Getting it wrong late in life can be more difficult. (ONE OF MY FAVORITES)



10) Look around you - The chances are someone else has hit this obstacle before. Ask around or check the internet for possible solutions. (THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET!!!!)

Everyone post-grad can relate to the crazy change one feels as summer ends after graduation and the fall starts and for the first time in over at least 16 years of our lives we've had a routine to come back to. We've also left behind friends, some we may see everyday, others we may never see again. Without a doubt many of the young women and men I have talked to about their experience after college is that they feel alone, isolated. This is definitely true for artists in whatever field you may be, because majority of the time you're going to auditions alone or writing alone. Another note is if you're going out on interviews and you're so tight before you go in to speak with a potential employer you may feel as if you're going to scream and for the first time in maybe four years you might not have that person there sitting on your couch or dorm bed to come home and vent to. This is where we all must learn what we can do indepentely to help ourselves through this transitional period in life. Maybe going to exercise more or take up a hobby you loved before college but didnt' have time for during college such as taking dance classes, joining a local sports team that plays on weekends, getting out that guitar again or whatever your calling will be. Find a group maybe to jam with, find a writing group, anything that can help you meet new people to see that even though you may feel lost remember the saying "Time Heals" and this includes anything concerning changes. So give yourself 30 minutes of self-pity or watch your favorite T.V. show and get to work on something else where even if it's not in your direct career path will make you feel a little more fufilled even for just that day. Because trust me, once you jump on the bandwagon I garantee your days will start to fill up a lot quicker and you'll realize how many people in his or her own way are going through a change as well.

There's a great quote in "P.S. I Love You", it seems a little sad but has so much truth to it. It is in one of the last scenes in the movie where Holly is standing with her mother as her mother hands her the last letter her late husband Gerry wrote to her before he died. Holly feels very alone, and her mother who was abandoned many years earlier by her husband and Holly's father makes a very poignant quote.

"So now, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too. And I find comfort in that" - P.S. I Love You